me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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