is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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