I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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