totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
