If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just google imaged poop.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
