If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
