I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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