and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
