Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
