normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
