I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
