So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
