Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
