She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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