We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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