Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
