can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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