Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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