I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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