I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
