I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
