I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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