when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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