I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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