maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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