What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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