He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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