Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
