im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize