is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
