I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
