If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
