so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
