I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
