I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize