So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
