girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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