Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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