My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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