how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
