then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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