First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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