This is not my ceiling
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
