let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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