If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
