Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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