I think I died a long time ago.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
