Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
