Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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