well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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