she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She tied me up with her honor cords...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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