no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's shark week go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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