I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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