Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
