And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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