marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
