She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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