I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
